5:25am- Daddo-O comes into Jaxy's room to wake me up. Wanna work out? No, but I'll be right down...
5:30am- I use my ninja skills to silently roll off the bed and change into my workout clothes. I stumble down the stairs and push play. We discuss how much we hate Autumn Calabrese. I critique Dadd-O's plank and almost pee my yoga pants trying to do (modified) burpees.
5:47am- We hear Jaxy screaming upstairs. Dadd-O brings him down and tucks him in on the couch to "watch us workout."
5:52am- Jaxy is nursing upside-down while I attempt to do crunches for 60 seconds straight, twice. Why did I give up my gym membership again?
6:00am- We finish the cool down, Dadd-O goes upstairs to take a shower and I snuggle Jaxy on the couch and watch cartoons/sneak in a catnap.
Over the next hour and a half, two people shower, at least two people poop, four sets of teeth are brushed, the dog goes out 17 times, lunches are put together, breakfasts are made, snuggles and meltdowns are had, and if we're lucky, we get out the door on time and without forgetting anything or yelling
Three days a week the boys go to daycare together (where thankfully, meals are taken care of). The other two days we usually divide and conquer. Dadd-O drops off Jaxy and I bring Harrison to preschool, feeding him pre-made, preservative-laden mini muffins and a pre-made, preservative-laden yogurt smoothie in the car. He asks me, Is Dadd-O getting surgery on his balls? I play dumb. We sing All About That Bass and fight over whether it's a girl or a boy singing. Seriously?!
8am- Blah blah... work stuff... blah blah... State employee... blah blah... phone calls, emails, webinars, meetings... blah blah blah
4:45pm- It's already dark as I leave work for the day. We divide and conquer once again, but this time I get the little one- and this happens...
Jax: I want music loud!
So I turn up the music...
Jax: blah blah blah
Me: (turn down the music) What babe?
Jax: Mama, you a girl?
Me: Yes, I'm a girl.
Jax: Loud.
Me: (turn up the music)
One minute later...
Jax: blah blah blah
Me: (turn down the music) What babe?
Jax: Mama, it's dark outside?
Me: Yes, it dark outside.
Jax: Loud!
Me: (turn up the music)
Two minutes later...
Jax: blah, blah, blah
Me: (turn down the music) What babe?
Jax: Mama, Bella our dog?
Me: Yes, Bella is our dog.
Jax: LOUD!
Me: (turn up the music)
Aaand REPEAT.
5:15pm: We pull into the garage and I release Jax from his car seat. I watch Mickey Mouse and drink a boobie?! He asks/demands. As you wish my son ::eyeroll::
5:30pm: The Dadd-O and Harrison get home and I retreat to the kitchen to get started on dinner. If I'm lucky the boys stay downstairs and play/watch TV, but generally they want to be as close to me as humanly possible without actually crawling back inside my uterus. I try to keep my cool as I chop, saute and stir allthewhile tripping over ninjas, kissing boo-boos, breaking up fights and trying to protect two little cannon-ballers from needing stitches. (Seriously, they gather all the pillows in the house, pile them up near the couch, then scream Cannon Ball! as they jump... generally, they land on the pillows.)
6:15pm: We finally sit down to dinner. Jax refuses to eat anything on his plate, but begs for bites from both Dadd-O and I (it's the same damn thing!). We attempt normal family conversation.
Me: Harrison, how was your day?
H: Good.
Dadd-O: What was your favorite part?
H: Tooting!
Me: death stare
Jax: I tooted!
And then we basically give up... It's a good day if no one is "asked" to leave the table, or storms of crying mid-meal.
6:30pm: Daddo-O gets the boys in the bath, while I clean up the kitchen. For some reason, I hate bath time more than I hate dishes. I overhear things like, Don't splash your brother! and Get your finger out of his butt crack! Oh yeah, that's why I prefer dishes...
Now comes my favorite part of the evening. The boys are all clean-smelling and dressed in their jammies. We wrestle in the living room for awhile (until someone gets hurt-- usually me-- which forces us to stop.) We read books Pete the Cat is a big hit in our house. And sometimes we even do Cosmic Yoga (yes, as a family). Our goal is to wind the boys down- though I think Dadd-O sometimes forgets this.
8:00pm: Teeth are brushed, and a cup of milk is poured. We give hugs and kisses to Dadd-O and Harrison. I lay with Jaxy and nurse him before he rolls his little body over and snuggles in to me. His breaths become deeper, and slower and within 30 minutes he's out. This is my "me" time- I stalk Facebook, play Candy Crush, read on my phone... and usually fall asleep by 9pm.
This is when Daddo-O and Harrison have thier self-proclaimed "man time." They watch shows on the iPad and snack on goldfish. I'm not even entirely sure what they do, but I'm sure it includes a lot of farting and talking about balls.
Aaaaaannnddd REPEAT!
