I left my two year old daughter with my in-laws for two hours and they fed her...(gasp)... a popsicle.
Seriously?!? Calm the fuck down! There are babies who drink Pepsi from their bottles and turn out
I can't find a way to secure every fucking piece of furniture that I own to a beam or joist, so I must move to a house that's safe for my children.
Um, no! Calm the fuck down and supervise your kids! Or even better, don't use rickety-ass furniture.
My four day old isn't sleeping through the night. I've swaddled and shushed, but when I put him down he cries.
He grew in your body for 9+ months, of course he doesn't want to lay alone in that Pack N Play. Eventually he'll sleep, and so will you. Calm the fuck down and hold your baby!
My three year old won't listen to me. I've tried timeout but it doesn't seem to be working.
Calm the fuck down! Three year olds are assholes! It's hardwired as part of their development. You just have to ride this shitty parenting wave out.
What kind of behavior chart do you use to keep your kids on track?
What the fuck? Calm the fuck down! You don't need sticker charts and reward systems, you have enough to keep track of (like who's been fed and who hasn't). "Don't be a dick" should be the overarching message. Always.
This post was inspired by this amazing clip.
That is my favorite word! It should be used more often ;)
ReplyDeleteFunny post!
And this is why we're friends ;)
DeleteHilarious and thank you for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteMy four day old isn't sleeping through the night!!!! Ha! Well neither is my two year old!
ReplyDelete