My husband travels for work a lot. It's not every week, but when he's gone it's usually for at least a week at a time, sometimes two! Recently I've noticed a trend in my parenting skills the longer he's gone.
Days 1-5: I can handle this- I maintain our normal routine fairly well. Dinner is eaten at the table, then bath, play time, bed for Jaxy and a snack and a show for Harrison. Mornings go smoothly because I got everything ready the night before (after Jax goes to sleep, but before Harrison does). I'm well rested and prepared each day. I build forts and do art projects with the boys- giving them 100% of our my attention.
Days 6-10: I think I can, I think I can... Things are still running pretty smoothly, but I'm losing my stamina. Dinner is mostly eaten at the table, but we stop for a Happy Meal now and then. Baths are more sporadic (unless someone gets exceptionally dirty). Evening prep work has halted as I lose my commitment to organization. I'm too busy with the big stuff that I let go in last week's honeymoon phase- emptying and loading the dishwasher, catching up on laundry, taking out the fucking garbage! Mornings suck as I scramble to put together lunches and water bottles and extra mittens for preschool. I'm about 15 minutes late to work each morning with a hot cup of gas station coffee in hand (yes, I'm that girl.)
Day 10+: I've lost my ever loving mind! The kids are fed and clean and loved. But the house is a disaster- dishes pile up as I can't find time to cook dinner and empty the dishwasher, I trip over toys at 5am when the dog wants to eat (stupid daylight savings). Dinner happens in front of the TV many nights (judge away), baby wipes provide baths, my own hygiene plummets, and we're all late in the morning and the kids are the last ones to be picked up at daycare/preschool. We're basically a travelling shit show.
At this point, I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Being late to work is stressful, not bringing a lunch is stressful, forgetting something (anything really) is stressful, leaving your house a wreck is stressful, coming home to a messy house is stressful... and all this stress causes me to yell at my boys way.too.much.
It's not their fault that I just can't keep up with it all, they depend on me to be there for them emotionally and physically. And that's why I let the house go as the weeks go on and try to keep my energy and attention focused on them. But doing this parenting thing alone for even two weeks is draining.
I know I'm lucky. I see a light at the end of this crazy, long and lonely tunnel. My husband and co-parent will be home soon to share in parenting and house work (riiiight) and most importantly to let the fucking dog out at 5am. That's when I take off for a few hours to grocery shop and poop alone (in a public bathroom somewhere).
Single parents- cheers to you! I don't know how you do it.
