Do you ever feel like Patricia Heaton's character Deborah from the show Everybody Loves Raymond? Because I do- ALL.THE.TIME.
In the days Pre Kids (P.K.) I used to think to myself- "God, she's such a bitch!" "Why's she so mean to her husband?!" "WTF is her problem?"
Well... Now I know! I really, truly, get it. She's overwelmed, she's tired, her mind won't shut off, and she's overwelmed (that needs to be said twice.)
Being a mom is hard, being a wife is hard, hell, being a person is hard! Put those three together and you've got a tornado of thoughts running through your mind at any given moment.
Ugh, the sink is full of dishes. I should do them. No, I did them last time, so Dadd-O should do them... but he's playing with the boys, that's more important. I should be playing with them too. But if I don't do the dishes now, they'll still be there tomorrow and Dadd-O isn't home tomorrow, so I'll never get them done and the world will end!!
This is just a tiny sample of what goes on in my head at any given moment. (You're welcome.)
So, how do I curb my inner Deborah? Well, I'm not always able to keep that bitch on lock-down, but I do have a few tricks that work for me:
Deep Breaths- I know this sounds cheesy, but it really does work. When I can feel myself getting close to losing my shit, I take a few slow, deep breaths... then turn on my Stepford wife face and go back to parenting.
Time Away- Sometimes I choose to do the dishes, or bring the laundry downstairs just so that I can have a tiny bit of time to myself. And sometimes I pretend I'm pooping so that I can check facebook in private.
Be Honest- Sometimes I just have to tell my boys (Dadd-O included), that I'm having a rough day. That it's hard for me to be patient/kind/calm, and that I need them to be understanding/helpful/patient. Basically, consider this a warning shot.
How do you keep it together as a partner, parent, person??
I run. Or ask Jay to play with the kids so I can write. I agree about the honesty piece. There are days when Jay walks in and I tell him I am about to loose my shit (some days I already have) and tell him it's his turn. Balancing so many things for a mother is a challenge. Being creative about how we handle it is not easy either. BTW, the pretend pooping thing is done in my house too. :)
ReplyDeleteDadd-O taught me the skill of pretend pooping ;)
DeleteI'll gladly clean up for some alone/recharge time!
ReplyDeleteAnd, sometimes I just lay on the floor face down in the dog hair and crumbs. That works, too.
Sometimes Dadd-O will offer to clean up, and I'll snarl back at him, "No, really, I've got it!"
DeleteAlso, so much dog hair!
Haha! Liz, I think I let my 'inner bitch' out too much! She's a nasty lady who can't be contained at times. Sometimes I feed her to keep her at bay! And yes, can we talk about husbands pooping for like a half hour! That really gets my inner bitch going. Never thought about using that tactic myself to calm her down.:)
ReplyDeleteI've been known to feed her way too much! I've been known to yell at Dadd-O when he's in the bathroom, "There's no way that you're still pooping!"
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