I Almost Forgot...

It wasn't intentional, really, but I forgot to share... I saw a nutritionist. I saw her three times, actually. I thought I was eating "right" and I was exercising regularly, but the weight just wasn't coming off. I figured it was time to call on a professional for help. Bonus: My insurance pays for three visits! As a know-it-all perfectionist who has struggled with my weight for, like, ever... this was really scary for me. What if she tells me I'm doing this all wrong? What if I cry? What if she makes me get on a fucking scale??? But, thankfully, it wasn't like this at all.

Visit #1
I brought in a three day food (and poop) journal so that she could get a sense of my current eating (and pooping) habits. I also had to write down my "food story," which ended up being a page full of bullet points listing all my crazy food/weight issues... so that was fun. There was some cheesy getting-to-know you conversation, we talked about my reason for coming in, and my goals. I told her that I wanted to lose weight...that I was an emotional eater... that I wanted to be healthy and feel good about my body. And best of all, I didn't cry. This is big for me- when I'm mad, I cry, sad, I cry, overwhelmed, hungry, tired... you get it, I cry. I told her that my goal weight was 150... and then I waited for her to say that was a little high for my height... but she didn't. She said that sounded realistic and healthy and then we moved on. She looked over my food journal and gave me some homework for the coming week: (1) incorporate a non-green vegetable into your diet, (2) add a walk/run interval workout to your weekly routine, and (3) eat more carbs.

Visit #2
A week later, I had made baked eggplant Parmesan for dinner (check), I had actually used the Couch to 5K app that had been sitting on my iPhone for months (check), and I upped my daily intake of carbs to closer to 40% of my caloric intake(check). I was feeling confident and proud of myself- even though there was no movement on the scale. The first visit was where I spilled my guts, and this visit was more about me taking information in. Based on what I had told her, she had put together an eating plan for me- complete with new recipes to try!

1. Eat every 3-4 hours to avoid getting "hangry." This is huge for me. When I get hungry, I get cranky and I often don't make good choices about food. By staying ahead of hunger, and keeping my blood sugar stable, I can stick with the plan I've made for myself... and be nicer to those around me. It's a win-win really.

2. Include protein and carbs in every snack/meal. And aim for no more than 30 grams of protein at a time because your body can't use any more than that.

3. Limit (not avoid) processed/frozen meals. I knew they weren't great for me (sodium, or something?), but Lean Cuisines had become a go-to lunch for me. I learned that even though they are low in calories, they also lack in good protein and that's why they really don't keep you full for long.
I left feeling excited to try some new recipes and follow a real plan! I'll post the apple oatmeal recipe soon- AMAZING!

Visit #3
I really fell into a groove- I was sticking with my new plan, exercising three times a week AND I had lost three pounds!!! We talked about ways to avoid emotional eating and how to manage healthy eating when life gets unpredictable (a challenge for the control-freak in me). Acknowledging that my insurance won't cover anymore visits, we said our goodbyes and she offered advice or support anytime.

I really found that the biggest change was that I am being more kind to myself. It sounds simple and a little silly, but really it's not. If I make an unhealthy food choice, I forgive myself and move on- instead of making an excuse to eat everything in sight for the rest of the day (or week). And if I make a conscious decision to eat something deliciously unhealthy, that I know isn't in my "plan" for the day, I own it, enjoy it... and try to get in some extra exercise that day.

Reluctantly, I know that managing my eating and weight will be a part of the rest of my life. Rather than be pissed about it, which I still am pretty often, I'm trying to think of the process as a learning experience, rather than a chore... I'm figuring out what works for me and what's just not gonna happen. I know that I can plan most of my meals ahead, I know that I can eat every three hours, I know that I can make it to the gym three times a week... and I also know that my sons love to bake cookies on the weekends, I love going out to eat, wine with friends is fun, and playing outside with my kids can be my exercise for the day. It's really about finding a balance and maybe acknowledging that I'll never get back to my wedding weight, and my size 12's feel just right.